On the artificial and the natural worlds

If one disregards the concept of God, and the fact that there is no creator of the world and mankind.  One must then begin to realize that there is no prupose to the world itself.  If there is a purpose it is one that has been created by man itself, and thus – one would instantly believe just after realizing this - a false purpose.  If there is no God, however, then all purposes would then have to be false purposes, but if there are only false purposes and no true purpose then what makes the false purposes false? Therefore, one must conclude that there are no false purposes only purposes.  However, if there are only ‘purposes’ that man creates then are all purposes true purposes?  I cannot agree with that statement either.  I dont think there are any “true” or “false” purposes.  I think there are only puposes some better then others.  It is the job of mankind to search for a purpose that is worthy for the race to follow, and thus we must find the best purpose.

 In order to find the purpose that is right and most beneficial to us we must first figure out what kind of world we are living in now and what kind of world we wish to live in.  When one usually talks about the world we live in you would hear the words global, capialisitic, democratic, modern . . etc etc.  They will tell you of the world that man has created for himself on earth thus far; however, I think we must look at things from a more general perspective; which, in a way, is a more simpler perspective.  We, as humans, create our world from the natural world.  We reshape natural things and give them a human purpose, and thus we create an aritificial world which is our own. 

The natural world is the world as it is without human influence.  It is a world that was never created but just seems to exist in complete chaos and is not maintained at all.  The artificial world is human based and is created from man.  We change the natural world into something that we wish to live in.  Thus man does not adapt to his surroundings but makes his surroundings change ro him.  Thus giving the earth a consciouse will and a purpose; which is completely lacking in the natural world. 

What should Katya do?

It is a horrible thing to have a great faith in something and then realize it to be an illusion.  The weaker and less intelligent have the advantage since they are able to shrug it off far more easier: they are less sensitive; however, one who takes things as they are and accepts the reality of the disallusinment will have a far more difficult time.  It becomes like a wound that will never stop bleeding; which, weakens the soul and heart, and eventually can lead to a spiritual death.  If one does not find a new direction one wastes oneself in idleness and disallusionment.  One seems to embrace nihilism in its most honest form and never be able to stray away from the abyss. 

This has happened many times in literature and life, but to me the most heart rending case is that of Katya.  In Chekhov’s ”A Boring Life” Katya becomes disallusioned with the theater and the actors that she, in her youth, thought to be so good and divine, when she discovers that they were really just vain and lacked talent.  She even comes to realize that she herself lacks the talent and strives on the vanity, so unable to live the lie any longer she abandons her dream, but is unable to find another purpose.  Her only hope is her foster father.  She sees, in him, a man that is a lot more real and stronger then those around him and her; however, he himself is weakend by his own struggles and is unable to help Katya out of her utter disallusionment.

 Will is the manner of men; willingness that of women.  That is the law of the sexes – truly, a hard law for women.  All of humanity is innocent; but women are doubly innocent.  Who could have oil and kindness enough for them? – Nietzsche

Katya’s suffering; actually, all of Chekhov’s women in one form or another suffer in the inability to find an exceptional man, and if they do that man’s inability to help them.  Is this because they were unable to pick there moments properly? or because they did not see the true problem these women had? or is it that the women themselves are simply self-destructive and cannot seem to choose what is best for them and see things as they are? It seems to be a little bit of all three; however, what is the man to do when he has his own problems he must deal with and the conceptions the women have of what a man should be to be great is so skewed.  They can only be patient and hope that they will see things as they are. 

Katya sees the vanity and lack of honesty in all people, even those like her; except, for her foster father who is getting old and will be dying soon.  In the end she comes to him in desperation and asks: what should I do? and he gives that fatal and painful answer that he does not know.  After that fatal night she is now lost to him and he cannot help her no more; she will be leaving and never returning, and will wonder completely and utterly lost.  When reading this story I could not help but think what could of he possibly said? What should Katya do?

Katya, when little, dreamed of grand and beautiful things, and dreamed of people to compliment them; which, led her to where she thought her dreams most matched the reality of things. Thus she attached herself, in the most innocent and heartfelt way, to the theater.  She then becomes disillusioned and realizing the vanity of it -even in her lover – leaves it.  When she left she never let go of her dreams of something being better then the reality around her, but unable to find something that was not a lie she becomes lost and does not know what to do with herself.  So what should of Nikolai told her? 

He should of said: Katya, I know you and I know your heart.  You are not one to become an actress nor a domestic servant; actually, you are not one that was born for this age.   What you once believed the theater to be and what you have become now shows me this.  Your noble heart suffers in a world for the weak, petty and vain.  Thus it is for all noble hearts; including my own.  Katya my dear! What must you do? You must stop looking for your dream, for they do not exist, but do not give up on them.  Try to create them!  Stop wallowing in the misery of insulting the way things are, and instead, create a little corner for yourself where you can be happy and change things just a little.  You are not one for grand revolutions, but perhaps in your own little way you can change things by changing one heart.  I am an old man and you wish to take care of me.  Alas, there is no point, I can feel it, death is coming to me in a few months time.  You are going on 30 now and yet you are still beautiful and your are wise in the way of the world and can handle it: if you found someone to protect and teach.  Look for a young man who is in his early twenties or late teens.  Who has a sensitive heart and high hopes in the future: in the same way that you once had.  Take him and treat him kindly, teach and protect him, be like his coccoon and be his lover.  Marry him even.  Lead him through the perils of the twenties such as: ambition, hatred, self-conempt, and other passions of all kind.  You will be his intellectual and moral superior, and eventually, if you do things right, and if he is like an unflawed piece of marble, he will outgrow you and perhaps become something like that which you dream of.  For the things that we dream of cannot be made by nature but must be created by man.  Go do that! That will be your purpose in life! And, Katya, even if you fail and he becomes like everyone else.  Do not be too disheartened, try again if you have enough strength left in you, or just live out the rest of your life.  For even if you do nothing else you have attempted and done more then so many others! even those who have created corporations, or became famous, or even became heads of states!  So Katya, that is what you must do.  You must leave me and find him.

On Adaptation

When man looks honestly at himself he sees something in him that is animal; however, he also sees something that is not.  In the past this ’something that is not animal’ has always been attributed to that which is godlike within us.  Thus seeing this duality in us man has looked at himself as being between two things.  That of the animal and that of God.  It would seem that he is in the middle of an evolutionary process, like a bird slowly evolving wings that will eventually let it fly.  It could also seem that he is between two worlds the primal earth and a pure heaven, and he must leave his earthly body (that which is animal) to metamorph into something godlike or angelic, and thus be able to live in heaven.  In both cases it has been viewed that this ‘godlike’ attribute will bring us to some wonderful place, and perhaps it might, but what is it? what is it that seperates us from the animals? even though there is much that is animal in us, it cannot be denied that we aren’t completely like them.

An animal adapts to his surroundings; a God creates his surroundings.  An animal becomes a part of his environment; the environment becomes a part of a God.  This is the true difference between the two, and represents the horrible ambivilance found in man: the desire to adapt and thrive struggles against the desire to create and suffer. 

When man first became man, I cannot help but feel that the thought that man felt that changed him from being just an animal was, “I cannot live like this!”, and the inability to change how he was living allowed the animal to survive.  Thus man learned the desire but not the way.  God was then created by man to shift the blame that the world is as it is to something that could control and change his surroundings.  Thus man learned of God and attributed to him the first cause of all things.  When man placed God as the first cause of all things he made his greatest error (one that we are still struggling with today)which is that of confusing first and last things: the original cause and effect.  For which came first God or man? It was man’s desire to live differently from the way he was living that created God.  My proof of this is this: if God was first cause then man would be happy and would have always lived in a ”garden of eden”; however, we do not live like this and desire change.  Thus there is no God that created a heaven and earth for us to live in.  How many explanations and refutations of this simple fact there are!  One could spend a thousand life times writing each one down and refuting it by the commonly held methods of science; however, I do not have the time nor the desire to attack these hydra heads.  Instead let me stab this monster’s heart! The original tale of the fall held that it was because of original sin that man fell from this paradise.  How did man sin? By eating from the tree of knowledge (by becoming dissatisfied with his surroundings and himself).  It is the very thing that seperated man from the animals that he began to consider sin (for it was the root to all of his suffering). Thus God becomes a being in which man can transfer the desire to change his surrounding; therefore, become happy again by becoming like the animals and being able to accept and adapt; however, he found that he could not do such a thing until his surroundings had actually changed.  Thus man creates a heaven and gives credit to God. 

 It is that very thing that we despise most in ourselves that is the root to what seperates us from the animals.  The desire not to adapt to our surroundings but to create them.  The desire not to become part of our surroundings, but make our surroundings become a part of ourselves.  Since nature is very difficult and seems to be very resistant to our wills, we begin to suffer and become dissatisfied with ourselves. 

On Autobiography

When one writes anything it is never specifically for oneself.  Even though we may say it is, and even the most honest of men have said it; however, there is still the realization and the desire to be read.  Even if one is at the same time afraid to be read, and wishes to destroy his work; which, has been the occasion of many great writers and almost the fate of many great classics.  Nonetheless, there is a desire in people who write to truly write; even if they know that what they write will not be known too many, if anyone.  Perhaps, it is because they are writing to be read by themselves at a later date?  Maybe it is a desire to confess and tell their story; to re-live their past experiences as they write it?  And thus we come to the two-fold purpose of writing.  It is to open yourself up to others for yourself.  For all great writing, that will never get old and never be timely, this is what is needed in the writer.  The writing must be you yourself, and when you write something there must be a piece of your soul in that writing that you might find frightful for someone else to read, and yet it is something that you wish others to know about you.  This is what is untimely in something that is written.

There are writers who decieve (entertain), they do not write of themselves or ‘confess’, they tell stories where only the most superficial parts of their being (soul) are visible.  These works are timely, and they are not written as a means to reach out to people and show them what is truly inside them, but to decieve them about themselves, or to not talk about themselves at all, and just tell a good story that follows a common formula for fiction.  The feeling the writer feels towards these writings is just as impersonal as a business man towards a good report that he has just sent off to his boss or a student who just finished writing an essay forced on him by his teacher.  This is what is timely in writing.

Thus writers of autobiographies can fall into these two categories.  One wishes to show himself as he is to himself, his friends, and the public.  The other wishes to show himself as he is not to the public (perhaps even to himself and his friends).  The former wishes to achieve a certain form of immortality for his life, by writing it on paper and letting it be remembered for years after he himself, who had these memories, has died.  The latter wishes for immediate fame, it is a tool for his own image and thus false and vain, and he may even wish to be remembered after he is dead, perhaps imagining that he might hear these praises?

If a person who writes an autobiography is young and of a noble heart he does so to ‘get his bearings straight’.  He uses it as a focus to see where he should go and what he should do in the future.  If one is older and at the end of one’s life it is that desire to re-live one’s life and to achieve that form of immortality that I stated above. 

We Hyperboreans

“We are hyperboreans; we know very well how far off we live.”
-Nietzsche.
I can be surrounded by people, and yet I will still feel alone; actually, I even feel more alone when surrounded by them. It is a feeling of complete isolation. I can be touching someone, but the gap between us will still feel too great for me. I will still feel that they can never come to where I am, and I will never go to where they are. I am guessing that this is the feeling that one gets when one becomes hyperborean:
“Neither by land nor by sea will you find the way to the hyperboreans.”
-Pindar
I cannot help but think that the reason for this is that we think differently from others – from everyone else! We dream things that they do not, and we cannot help but “roll our eyes” at what others dream for and want in life. We cannot be happy living as we do in a reclusive state: never doing anything to change the real world into that of our dreams. Having to suffer through modern life by working, socializing and being polite. It is exhausting constantly resisting to unleash an attack on an enemy, but what else can we do? For there is no real enemy to fight, and there is no real place to build. Thus our minds become tortured, wanting to act, but having no idea how to, and knowing that holding out is our best option. Our minds then became dark:
“We thirsted for lightning and deeds and were most remote from the happiness of the weakling “resignation.” In our atmosphere was a thunderstorm; the nature we are became dark – for we saw no way.
- Nietzsche
It is a difficult and depressing thing, but what else can I say? It is how I feel. When a man is separated from what he can do he cannot help but feel gloomy, like an athlete in his prime cut off from the sport he loves so much, and like that athlete who can only be happy again once he is reunited with that sport he knows so well; thus, we hyperboreans can only be happy when we are able to work towards a goal that we can affirm with our in most being, and therefore strive to make our dreams become reality; afterall, what is the formula to our happiness?
a Yes, a No, a straight line, a goal.
-Nietzsche

Why I am here.

Greetings!

In the past few years, ever since I left school, I have realized that I have not been writing as much as I should be. Thus my thoughts have become less and less organized, and even though I cannot help but feel that my understanding is improving and I am gaining more and more knowledge. I find that I am gaining knowledge in a very messy way. This blog is, for the most part, intended to be used as a tool to help me organize and filter my thoughts. Thus, if I continue to use this as I plan, thoughts (blogs) will be deleted and edited as my thought grows and as I begin to disregard or improve upon my thoughts.

This blog is also intended as a reference for those of my friends who are interested in my thoughts. I have always made sure that I have been as transparent as I possibly can, and hopefully this blog will help to make me even more transparent. I am not intending to give this blog address to too many people, nor do I desire for it to be read by many, and even though these thoughts will be open for anyone to read, I will be relying on the obscurity of this little blog page, and the assumption that these blogs will be of little interest to the average blog surfer. This will hopefully keep my readers down to myself and the few friends I have given this address to.